Whether it’s zooming by (no pun intended) or dragging on, nearly two weeks of Ramadan have passed, and we are now in the second third of this month. According to one hadith, Allah has divided Ramadan into three stages: mercy, forgiveness, and protection. The entirety of this month is blessed. Still, it can be helpful to focus on each element in its own given time, and right now we are in the window of forgiveness.
Asking for forgiveness, really asking for forgiveness, is not easy. It entails taking responsibility for an action you regret. There’s a reason hearing “I’m sorry I hurt you” from an offending party sits very differently than “I’m sorry you feel that way.” The latter is irritating to say the least and ignores accountability on the part of the so-called regretful character. Being honest about having made a mistake is a hit to the ego and asking for forgiveness chips away at pride. It’s humbling, and it takes practice. Maybe this is one of the reasons Muslims are encouraged to regularly seek God’s forgiveness. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Overly regular repentance has the danger to veer into the masochistic. Asking for God’s forgiveness over every little thing can become harmful. It can get to the point where it feels like you’re apologizing for breathing. Apologizing from a place of self-loathing is unhealthy and unnecessary. There has to be a middle ground.
One translation for repentance used in the Quran is ‘tawba.’ The literal meaning of tawba is ‘to return.’ The implication is that seeking forgiveness is a type of return towards God, and ideally, that God is a forgiving one. In surah Az-Zumar, it is written, “Despair not of the Mercy of God, for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful” (39:53).
Seeking forgiveness is humbling, but it does not make you trash. If anything, it’s humanizing. People are people. They’re not perfect, they make mistakes, that is the simple reality. Asking for forgiveness with sincerity is a recognition of those mistakes, sure, but this recognition is not damning. It has the potential to mend relationships and bring people closer. In the case of tawba, it brings you closer to God.
One prayer for forgiveness based in hadith follows: “O God, You are the most Forgiving One, You love to forgive, so forgive me” (At-Trimidhi). It sounds simple, but it takes practice. These ten days of Ramadan are the perfect opportunity to do just that.
Iman Jafri ’15
Associate Chaplain for Muslim and Interfaith Life